My Big Fat Persian Dinner

I decided to make Gormeh Sabzi, Khoresh Gheymeh, and a big pot of rice, as well as the traditional pita bread with feta, mint and basil to start. I might post the recipes later, but I'd like to simply describe the debacle first.

How I screwed up the Gormeh Sabzi: I usually buy bagged spinach at the store, but I happened to be at the natural food store, so I bought bunches of spinach. I started the onions and fake meat cooking, thinking I could chop the greens (spinach, green onions, parsley and dill) later. Yeah, it's been a LONG time since I bought bunched spinach. I forgot that it basically comes packed in mud, and that you could rinse it under the faucet in a strainer for ten years, then pull it out and still find big chunks of mud. You have two options -- fill a sink with cold water and wash it that way, or wash every damned leaf individually under running water. I had forgotten how indredibly long that took. Ultimately, it didn't affect the dish too badly (I think this was the best of the things I made), but it was a terrible pain in the butt and really took a lot of my time, which leads to . . .

How I screwed up the rice: To make Iranian rice, you actually boil it like pasta just until it is al dente, then drain it and put it back in the pot (with a bunch of melted butter) and steam it for a while until it develops a crust on the bottom. I, however, was so preoccupied that I completely ignored the rice, and it bypassed the "al dente" stage. It bypassed the "done" stage. It bypassed the "a little overdone" stage and turned into a big pot of rice paste. I threw it out and turned on the rice cooker.

How I screwed up the Khoresh Gheymeh: This one probably owes some of the problems to the recipe, which measures the yellow split peas in pounds. I don't have a kitchen scale, so I estimated. I figured 1/4 lb was about one cup. I must have been WAY off, because I cooked it with the water and tomato juice (1 cup each) for just a few minutes before the split peas had soaked up every trace of liquid and the legumes were still hard as rocks. Ultimately I ended up adding at least 2 1/2 more cups of liquid before I called the dish done, and even then the peas probably could have stood a tiny bit more cooking.

I did not screw up the pita bread, cheese, mint and basil (although I did forget to put out sliced red onion, my sweetie's favorite). To be honest, it wasn't bad, it just didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped. Next time I try, I will either buy bagged spinach or the dried "sabzi" greens that you can find in Persian markets. I will vow to watch the rice better. And I will do a better job at estimating one pound, or just go ahead and take the recipe to the store and use the little scales by the bulk bins.